There must be fifty ways to show I'm fifty

I have written a song!

More accurately, I have re-written the lyrics to the Paul Simon song - Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, so with that famous tune in mind, here are my new words:

Fifty Ways to Show I’m 50

(To the tune of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover)

"The problem is how to get these done in just a year
 The answer is easy if you do it without fear
I'd like to try out 50 new things, step it up a gear
There must be fifty ways to show I’m 50

I said it's really not my habit to be brave
Trying out different things, that’s not how I behave
I may be middle-aged, but I’m not yet ready for my grave
There must be fifty ways to show I’m 50
Fifty ways to show I’m 50

You just go for a manicure
Maybe even a pedicure
Write a short story

Watch Citizen Kane

Read Anna Karenina
Knit a Dennis the Menace jumper
Just grow a big pumpkin
Then go glamping at Hay

Ooh do some tae kwondo
Have a tattoo, ooh
Go visiting Iceland, and
See the Northern Lights
Invent a new cocktail
Make up a new song
Go up in the London Eye

And learn a new dance

She said you have to draw a portrait of your sons
Then get on Pointless, meeting Alexander Armstrong
I have to learn to do some re-upholstery
And write a blog

You need to visit Bath and see the sights
Then solve a Rubik’s cube and always get it right
Eat only raw food for a week, enjoying every bite

There must be fifty ways to show I’m 50
Fifty ways to show I’m 50

Make money for charity
Play a ukulele
Sing the Sound of Music
Dressed up as a nun.
Get a photo of my family
Teach the kids to do laundry
Get lost on a bus, then
Walk on Hadrian’s Wall

Get a film on YouTube
Make a patchwork quilt
Find out about Didlum
And make some éclairs
Tell people they’re lovely
Learn to stitch tapestry
Just help me to do this
And I’ll love you for life!

Quite pleased with this - but now I need to learn to play it on a ukulele or something, make a recording of it, then make a video to go with it, and finally, to get it put on YouTube! No idea how to do any of those things, so advice is welcome.

Tackling Tolstoy - Anna Karenina

One item on my list of 50 is  - Read Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy.
It is a huge book, a classic of Russian literature, and despite being a big fan of Russian books in my earlier years - Dostoyevsky of course, but others too - I had never tackled a Tolstoy, mainly because of the size.

Today I finished reading it, and I found it engaging and was rather surprised at the character of Anna. Anna is beautiful and popular, but unhappy with her older and boring husband. When she leaves him for the dashing Vronsky, she knows she is giving up her place in society for love. She seems to despair at the loss of the son she has to leave behind, but I think he is only precious to her as an idea, rather than as a real person. Anna is insanely jealous, angry and changes in mood rapidly to extremes. She is able to charm and fascinate everyone she meets, but this covers a deeper unhappiness. She takes opium every day and becomes increasingly unstable, eventually taking her own life. It is also the story of Levin and Kitty, and the contrast between this couple and Anna and Vronsky is marked. Levin is happy living on his country estate, farming and making land improvements. When he has to live in the city, he is like a fish out of water. But, like Anna, Levin is very changeable, one word or look can defeat his confidence and make him forget all the good and positive thoughts he was having. Kitty seems to be a simpering love-struck girl at first, and falls seriously ill following Vronsky's withdrawal of his attentions. However, Kitty shows her true strength when she nurses Levin's brother through his final illness, taking charge when Levin is at his most helpless and ineffectual.After reading this huge book, the ending seems to come quite abruptly, with Vronsky leaving to take part in a war, and Levin finding a religious fervour which threatens to make him more accepting of his lot in life.

I am glad I have read Anna Karenina, it is a good story, and if it hadn't been on The List, I might never have attempted to read it.